Well, we drove like 4 hours down to visit some of my family in Arkansas. The car ride was almost more fun than the actual visit. Once we started talking, we couldn't stop. We've been dating for a little over 1.5 years, so our relationship can get a little stagnant. I was surprised by all the things we had to say to each other. And I was surprised by his interest in my down home roots, and the country bumpkins I call family. My boyfriend, a city boy if there ever was one, shot several guns. And is actually a really good shot.
He made me happier than he has in a long time this weekend, and I have to wonder; was he doing anything different, or is it just me? Have my attempts to be more positive and understanding already made that big of a change? Can a few days change me from high strung control freak to laid-back happy girlfriend?
I feel in my heart that I'm truly an optimist, but that life has just crumpled me up into a little crinkly ball of negative energy. It's become my goal to set myself right again. What's amazing about human beings is our resiliency. We have the ability to bear the weight of the world on our shoulders, and still continue to live and find some semblance of happiness. I seemed to have forgotten this, in between struggling in school, money troubles, and loads of other stressful shit that we all must deal with in our lives.
If you've ever read the essay "Quarter Life Crisis" (if you haven't you can just google it), you understand how much pressure there is on 18 to 25 year olds. It's the most critical time of our lives, and you can either pick up a negative, tightly controlled way of living life, or you can say, as I have vowed to say whenever life starts to press in on me, que Sera Sera. Whatever will be will be. The future's not our's to see, que Sera Sera.
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