The Vanishing Lady

Losing weight blows! At least, the way I decided to start my weight loss journey sucks. I'm sure if your a woman you've heard of the HCG diet. It's a 500 calorie a day, extremely strict diet. No dairy, no starches. Literally just lean meats and vegetables, and two fruits a day. I'm going from probably a 3,000 calorie a day diet to almost nothing, and I lived off of bread and cheese. I'm having a really hard time to say the least.

The other day I cheated and had some bread and peanut butter, and then yesterday I ate some chocolate, so now I'm doing this stupid apple punishment day, where all I get to eat is 6 apples and water only from lunch to lunch the next day. Part of me knows I deserve this, because I'm overweight (I mean, I not obese or anything. I'm just pretty chubsy). But the other half of me is doing this just to prove to myself that I can finish something.

I've never seen something all the way through. I never realized that before now. I quit so easily, and never finish anything. It's time to grow up a little bit more. I am doing this to prove to myself that I can do anything. If I can cut down to 500 calories a day, I can conquer any exercise regiment. If I can get in shape, I can also do excellent in school. If I can rock the socks off of college, I can get a good job in publishing. It all feels linked together, and if I need to get my body under control so that I can own my life and truly be able to manage my life.